Hello Mistress Camille as so often happens after our sessions I feel compelled to make an assessment of my place under Your guidance as your slave gurl in training.
I thought since on Dec 26 we will have our 8th month anniversary together I wanted to list what areas I have made progress in and where as it been lacking and needs improvement in the days ahead.
i do want to express my gratitude for Your patience that You show with Your gurl alyssa….so thank You Maam.
As for the positive I think some of my progress is as follows.
mentally: my mind has shifted to fully accepting that my feminine growth will primarily come from Your knowledge and expertise and guidance. I know I ‘want’ to be Your gurl even more then when we just began with me as a blossoming flower in Your garden.
--I have days when I’m aware I am thinking from a feminine perspective that didn’t exist until recently. learning about makeup, clothing and jewelry and other things that interests gurls tells me I ‘am’ becoming Your gurl though I may not realize all the time.
--I’ve found its best to simply obey You my Mistress. If You tell me to do something I do it. You are not heavy handed about it…..if anything I enjoy pleasing You.
being able to help in some small way as forum moderator is one example. when You tell me I’m Your good gurl it motivates me because You’ve let me know my effort helps in some small way with what is a demanding challenge You bear the brunt of in creating Your wonderful site.
physically: I now realize You know all that needs to be done to make me the gurl that You know I can be.
--like any gurl does my body is kept smooth and hairless (but for the necessary for now arm hair). My body is treated with softening moisturizer and Your fabulous suggestion of coconut oil.
--Having the hair removed from my underarms was a huge step for Your gurl Alyssa.
--now having regular manicures and pedicures is new progress
--Going to have my nails done is now a regular occurrence. The first time I was nervous yet this last time I didn’t hesitate to ask to select what red color polish I wanted to have put on my toes.
--I now keep my fingernails shaped with length near the tips. At home and sometimes out they have clear polish on. The pre-op t-gurl at the bookstore counter noticed them the other day. The only place I really don’t wear the clear polish is at work.
--having my ears pierced was also a huge thing. I am now used to wearing earrings all the time…and I love the feeling of wearing 3” hoops when at home.
--in the coming days I will shift to starting out with small hoops when outside.
--always being in bra n panties and highheels at home having the mirror in my room has me focus on my body and appearance along with what areas need attention.
--developing a sense of feminine vanity i practice putting my face on using makeup many nights.
progress insists that I go get some lessons next year.
--I have restarted to grow my hair out. I’m not sure what affect the rogaine and coconut oil will have. If some miracle occurs and I have lots of hair returning i plan on getting extensions put on to add real length.
--wearing my chastity cage …although I am not at the point where I wear it out all the time I am making progress. It has subtly shifted me to view myself with a clitty. I no longer have the perspective that it is a penis that is to be put in a vagina…as for urinating just like any gurl i sit to pee.
--I no longer try to pick up girls…having met a few any women that I get to know are viewed as strictly platonic.
--pre-herbals n pre-HRT nipple n breast growth.
breasts--I am using the pumps daily. I commented I like wearing one of my favorite bra’s although I don’t fill out the cups ….you said ‘one day you will fill them out’ while it excited me to hear You say that Your words motivate me…also that Your vision has me being able to lactate with a pair or c-cups.
nipples…since using the nipple-suckers for months now they have developed a new texture and sensitive feel to them. They seem a little bigger. You told me that they one day they will look much larger with my areolas near 1.5”.
--tatttoo’s- I started researching the application of having feminine body art in the form of tatttoo’s. though it is as You say my choice any tattoo put there is looked on by me as Your gurl pleasing her Mistress by having Your mark on her gurl in the form of a pretty, feminine tattoo. I’m planning on the name alyssa written using Chinese characters on my bikini line and a lower back tat done with a floral band running across lengthwise.
dildo practice: I regularly practice both sucking on and sliding in my collection of dildo’s. it has shifted my perspective on sexual gratification.. for sucking on the real thing we'll see what the future brings.
coming out: you have help to shift my perspective to one where coming out will be happening in the new year. I have identified a few places that are lgbtq friendly and will be used to do so.
area’s that need improvement:
-- i need to continue with my weight loss program and corset training. While not gaining any I am stuck in that space between 205 n 213. I need to feed my body as though it is already a slimmer 175.
essentially I need to shrink my body in a healthy manner between 20-25%.
--In the weeks/months ahead I need to practice altering my voice to a more feminine sounding one in both tone and inflection. I have started to use you-tube videos’ to help this.
i need to put up more pictures and videos of alyssa on my page on Your site. With pictures some angles I look ok if not good as a Your gurl and others I don’t and look way over- weight as compared to a more preferred ideal.
in the weeks/months ahead i want to find a job that truly is more welcoming to those coming/being out under the lgbtq umbrella.
i’m sure there are other area’s n things I haven’t thought of yet I have plenty to keep busy with for now.
thank You again Mistress DLC, hugs, alyssa Your slave gurl in training.