it was around 11:00 pm the house was empty in the floors below the attic. a pull of the string turned the light on in the long narrow storage closet. the fingers danced along the different hangers holding dresses and tops yet stopped on seeing the one.
an auburn-brown color to it he lifted the above-the-knee length dress to discover the size was XL-tall. it could mean only one thing. a price-tag still on it the mother-in-law had purchased the frock and put it there specifically for him to wear.
a true story that happened to me back before 'alyssa' was who i am becoming these days. a work thing i would spend Monday night's sleeping at my in-law's home that was most often empty with them at their summer house. it was during my married years living one way as a husband and father yet wishing another way of going thru life existed. i was so far in the closet it would have a taken a team of miners from Glyneath South Wales to find me.
divorced and single going on 20 years i finally have the freedom i once yearned for. other than a few brief instances of being out en femme i'm still 'closeted'. yet it seems instead of being buried in the back i'm at the entrance knowing a leap is soon to come. for now work and finances are the last hurdle.
t-girls coming out....it can be at times both euphoric and dangerous...
coming out involves the pains of going thru what i call 'the ugly duckling stage' of transitioning...not quite a transwoman yet no longer thinking yourself as a man....
what i like about being Mistress's gurl is that having helped so many She brings decades of knowledge on how to transition into play.
Her influence over me is far reaching...Dominatrix Camille is creating a very submissive trans-woman of alyssa.... a feminist, delicate, soft, affectionate, considerate, patient, fresh, natural, faithful, cheerful, supportive obedient...these are just some of the feminine traits that have emerged....
the past week i watched 2 movies...'Call Jane' and 'She said'...Call Jane is about a group of Women in Chicago in the late 60's who figure out a way to provide abortions for Women that needed them. She Said is a movie about the backstory of how 2 Women journalists from the New York Times pursued and help bring to justice the noted Hollywood mogul who had abused and molested young actresses wanting to further their movie careers. both speak to the type of Feminism and Woman's Rights and Gay Rights focus Mistress has instilled within Her gurl alyssa.
Mistress has been bringing my transitioning along at a steady pace...while mentally altering my belief system these past 4 years.... She has let the subtle physical changes play their role.... knowing the impact will help bring me to the point of needing to come out.....it is a place of passing the point of no return...
for me it is why the breast development matters...
it's just a guess yet i think my sister trisha was helped in coming out this past year by her looks changes and her boobs taking on size...yes she put in the therapy training but the impact of her HRT made it more likely she would act on coming out officially.
here is tara...ready for a recent 'night out with the girls'....ellie and trisha...
more than ever before t-girls are finding resources that truly aid their coming out....for me this forum-blog 'is' part of my therapy...as part of my secretarial duties it is why Mistress has me continue it...
moving to a more sexuality-based perspective....at the start Dominatrix Camille created a framework of Her ultimate vision for alyssa...if you're a regular here than you are already aware it is a major turn-on for me to know an alpha-Mistress is planning on taking me full-GRS....
truth is as we were discussing it i quickly sought out sexual reassignment surgery information from a Hospital not to far from me Mistress suggested might work....DLC slowed my roil reminding me She would be setting the pace....yet it was in my brain...in my mind....the idea kept incubating that i would surrender my cock and balls to Her and would have them replaced with a vagina...
the time passing these last 4 years has allowed me to accept many things...i've felt my mentality shifting being a former male now enslaved into a feminized t-girl. the change into a more feminine outlook has shown up in my behavior. i've grown to welcome a much softer body and the presence of my breasts. everything is helping me adapt to feeling like an objectified Woman...that is exactly how Mistress wants me to feel....
just some thoughts on turning trans...peace, alyssa