Recently I have begun to feel like Cinderella. I finally committed to transitioning. The night of the grand ball is approaching and I must get ready. I’m a bit nervous but beginning to relax as things begin to fall into place. I am so blessed to have found two medical doctors who encourage me to continue to move forward. Now I’m in the process of finding a therapist to help me begin to deal with the gender dysphoria that has plagued me all my life. Soon I will start medically supervised gender-affirming hormones but first I need to obtain the all-important letter from the doctors and the therapist that says I understand the risks; that I can make informed consent for treatment decisions, and that they are medically necessary. A year from now I hope to have top surgery and at least an orchiectomy if not a scrotectomy. There’s time enough to ponder and decide those things…
Like so many MTF t-gurls I spent most of my life hiding in the closet. Social pressures to conform, family, friends, and jobs have made me feel this was necessary. But I’m now 70 and those things aren’t so important anymore. But living the lie that I could be a man when all along I knew I was a girl has left me wanting in so many areas. I need to feminize my voice, learn the art of hair and makeup, and so much more. However, I now realize that all this is not just possible. It’s doable… with the help of many professionals and the love and kindness of my sisters. Girls just like you.
Yet there is a part of me that is so scared as I get ready for the ball and the princess that I hope to meet there. Yes, you heard that right. I love women! I revel in their beauty, their strength, and the way they continually shape the world. To be honest, I look at the pictures of you girls and I wonder if I can ever be half as beautiful as you and to find just a tiny portion of the freedom and feminine expression that you have. What I do know is that if I venture nothing I can gain nothing. Thank you for being positive role models for me and for inspiring me to come out into the light and bathe in the Lady Pond of love, light, and beauty.
lovely comments on becoming your true self amber. i've heard made mentioned that you-tube videos can be used in practicing a more feminine tone and cadence. thanks for sharing your story here. hugs, alyssa