appreciating shelley's point about our mind

good day my Mistress…just wanted to check in Maam, may You have a lovely weekend coming up.

apologizing for the length of this… late last night i was reading shelley's latest comment on Your blog forum. she spoke of learning servitude and the distinction between being in a physical presence versus the purely mind aspect of your direction and obedience femme training in an online experience with our Dominatrix Camille.

those who study the world of thought have concluded the average person has approximately 40,000 thoughts per day with 4,000 being conscious. 90% are the same as the day before.

i think about 'YOU' so much throughout my day.

it is like a pink wave of influence over taking much of my thoughts and feelings. i have discarded so many superfluous thoughts and actions i use to have replacing them with elements of feminine expression, feelings and thoughts.

though i have been busier at work i move about my day thinking about You quite often and i look at things as though I am becoming the kind of gurl You want of me.

addressing the physical aspects for a moment though i don’t do it as much because funds are low when i go through stores i look at clothing and makeup and other feminine items and accessories and think about how i can incorporate them into my life moving forward as Your gurl.

no longer using televised sports as the male pacifier they are at home I operate as though I already am becoming a trans-woman. that is a direct result from Your powerful influence over Your gurl alyssa and her mind.

i sleep in bed with my training corset on and 3” hoop earrings in. I practice when I can with my make up. i use my nipple suckers and breast pumps (though my boobies don’t stay increased in size for long).

The most noticeable change is in my nipples, they have acquired a different texture and sensation to them. they are more pronounced in appearance and sensitivity an often can be seen poking outward against my shirt.

After discussing with a ‘makeup specialist’ i bought a facial enhancer that has helped to reduce puffiness, dark spots and skin tone lines. i try to shave my face twice a day to keep it smoother. I use the coconut oil every 3rd or 4th day. At home I keep my toenails polished and colored while keeping my fingernails manicured as long as i think i can get away with at work.

moving into month 6 under Your direction i walk in heels at home so much i am starting to walk more from my hips. i have gradually acquired a feminine appearance to my facial expression most of the time. it is enough of a change that when outside it has gotten bemused if not curious looks from both males and Females who recognize it for what it is.

yet it is my mind that is being most influenced by you Maam. You are bringing me to a place where my thoughts come from a feminine space i didn’t realize existed as much as it does within me. For that i am grateful and it will no doubt add to me better accepting myself in the coming months and years as Your slave gurl in-training.

Your pet, alyssa